the need to be needed.

sometimes i do get the feeling my many complications and flaws are what get me labeled the way i am.

getting labeled is what makes a person feel neglected. i always knew i was different. but it wasn't until now that i finally decided to except it and be okay with it. getting all those mixed labels got me feeling smaller and weaker than my peers. than people in general.

so now and then, when someone hugs me or says something that makes it clear to me that i am loved, that i am needed by somebody, the feelings that come after that make me always step back and take a look at myself. and it makes me want to cry at the girl who can't seem to except that there are people.

somehow, i know there always are people. but it's hard, you know. always hard. everyday.

and then someone tells me how much they need to see me tomorrow or they will lose their mind. because they love me.

it is then that i realize that my existence is vital to this world. to some people's lives.

did you know yours is, too? if you don't, it's okay. for a long while, i sort of felt ashamed to feel the way i did. deep down, i knew i was always loved. but there were times, a couple of dark places, where it was hard to see it. i pretended to always know. but there were days after i lost a friend that i began to seriously question whether i was even needed by anybody. she just seemed to be moving on from me awful quick...

so if you are there, right now, it's okay. i know. it's like trying to look straight into headlights. it hurts. a lot. and you can't see at all. and you are needed. maybe you don't even know it. but you are. and that is one thing i can be sure of.

but Jesus has got you here for a reason, and you didn't come about by a random chance. who you are, the way you are, it's all worked into His puzzle exactly. you are such an important piece.

your beautiful heart is not only one of billions. it's one in a billion. and it's always been worth loving. that's why it is. loved.

joy,
hannah