Thursday, October 25, 2012
the tug towards home.
lately. lately i have been feeling this tug. not a small tug, a hard tug. it's been like someone has taken a hold of my arm, near the socket, and is dragging me somewhere.
in the last couple of weeks, the tug has gotten stronger. until everything became clear and now the hand that tugged at me for so long has let go, because it's owner knows i have seen what i needed to see.
lately. lately Jesus and i have been putting our brains together. lately, i have been feeling the calling to write music for His glory.
one thing that occured to me was that maybe the reason i have had all of my tough experiences was so that i could help others up. because i know where they have been. and i understand that place well. very, very well.
in fact, i can't even say maybe anymore. now, it's been clear. completely and crystal clear to me what i should do. at least for now. at least for today, this is where Jesus is leading me with my life.
i believe He wants me to encourage. and build up. and be an example. and be the proof of His love. all through music. all through doing what i love to do most.
now He's saying, "here is where you are supposed to be." and i am trusting His plan. and maybe He'll change it on me one day. He seems to like to do that. but if He does want to stick to the current plans, then i am going along with it. because three years ago, i would have freaked. but since this passion for music has grown everywhere across and through the middle of my heart, i have come to want it so badly, too. i want what He wants for me. well this would be a first.
and it makes me smile. many, many years ago, i vaguely remember seeing myself like taylor swift or somebody. which probably won't ever happen. but the thought had crossed my mind and it didn't come back until recently.
until now, when i am constantly, always seeing myself up on a stage with a microphone.
it's a funny, funny thing.
but i'm done saying maybe. because i feel that everything Jesus is telling me right now, today, in this moment, is clear. perfectly clear.
He's growing me and He's changing me. molding me into His plan. His puzzle called life. and knowing that some day, i will be a piece in it and get to help people up from their pits through what i love to do excites me. and i can't stop thinking about it. and i am thrilled for Him to show me the next step towards it all.