one hundred later // talking to the past

today i write my one hundredth post. WOW. i can't believe i am doing this. i can't believe i've been blogging this long. i've actually remained in one place long enough to write one hundred of these babies!

i like to take these kind of milestones to thank you, dear reader, for being here with me. whether we are old friends from past blogs of mine or you just joined my followers this week. no matter how long you've been here, i am so thankful to each and every one of you for all your encouragement. it has been a massive blessing on my little life. :)

over the past three and a half months or so i have received many, many emails from girls who have expressed how they have felt encouraged every time they come to read here. and that makes my heart so happy. to know that my struggles are helping other people to become stronger. and as i heal, they heal, too. it's a beautiful, beautiful thing.

so i have got this post ready for you. to talk about this little journey that this blog has been through.

( the following is inspired by Talking to the Water by Tyson Ritter. )

what this blog is is... well,

this blog was founded on a lot of true moments. it's honesty, it's vulnerability. it's been the most lost blog that somehow found itself at the same time.

some of the posts on my last couple blogs were stories that did happen, but at the same time, stories i put myself into. they weren't all that real.

everything that has happened on this blog has happened and is real.

it's hard to put into words when i put something out there that defines my existence is getting ready to be sent out into the world for everyone to read.

when writing for past blogs i've always felt like i've fallen short of something. like there was something left unturned.

i found myself making this blog. i never realized i was lost. and i don't think anyone really ever realizes they're lost until they've completely screwed up.

i feel like i'm becoming an adult. which is a weird thing to say. wow, i'm becoming an adult now.

the whole sort of theme of this blog i think is that we will all sort of find our way. because you have to get lost to find yourself. somebody smart said that.

in this last year i walked away from something that i thought was perfect. i'm really in a place where i am comfortable being alone because i have this blog to stand on and say 
"ha! look what i did! i did this."

this is a blog that will save you if you want to be saved. i've never put so much hard work into blogging writing. going crazy, going nuts. coming back from crazy and then realizing that sane isn't really that great either.

i've lost a lot of things that i love but i've also gained love for the one thing that i put in front of myself and that's music. not just music. my music. the music i write and the music i listen to everyday.

thank you for being a part of this crazy-awesome mess with me. 
words can never describe how much i love you all.

with hugs and kisses,

hannah