when you push a healing person.

there will be people who don't understand you. there will be people who don't understand what you need to do to heal. there will be people who will try to force you along, but i don't believe healing is something that can be forced. every person needs to take their own time to move on. even if they just need to sit in their own tears for a while.

well my ways of healing must be different. i've had people in my life who don't seem to understand why i do what i do or why i take so long. and i will say this: when you lose people who are your whole world for a good chunk of your life, you can't just expect to wake up one morning and be alright with that. because that's who that person was to me. they were my everything and now i am having to find a new everything. and that everything is Jesus.

i lost a friend. i'm not afriad to admit it anymore. and it's okay. i'm moving on slowly but surely. i need to take my time to let go of each little thing about her. which sounds strange, but i do. and people need to realize she isn't probably going to go away for a long time.

it's not that i don't try to heal. i do try. i am healing all the time. always letting go of something new. but sometimes, i remember her and a memory that came with her and it takes me back a couple steps. but i am holding on to Jesus's hand here. He will never let me go and He will see me through this thing until nothing is left but a scar.

it's gonna be okay. and i have come a long way. but i guess what i am trying to say is if you know someone who is in the middle of a healing process, don't push them. ever. all you can do is hold their hand and see them through it. if you push them too hard, if you try to make them forget the past sooner than they can, it makes that person fall backwards. i've been there. it brings you right back down.

and if you are the person trying to heal an open wound, you're not alone. and i love you for even trying! if you guess it will take you a long time, maybe even years to sew it up, don't be ashamed about it. ever. it's taken me three already. and that's okay because that's how i need to heal. some people can take a couple months, but it has just taken me longer. and it's probably because my experience with that person was longer.

healing can be a beautiful thing. it can make us stronger for the future. and i hope that when you and i are done with it all, there won't even be anything to see left from our experiences but hearts ready to encourage others who need hearts fixed up.

much love,
hannah