Saturday, May 18, 2013

and i'll love him for never asking me to change.

listening to: beautiful ending | barlowgirl

like i said yesterday, no one is ever worth changing yourself for.

not even a boy.

this is something i've been trying to press upon my heart lately.

because it's becoming easier to not care what people think of me. but when it comes to a guy i've always liked, that's harder.

he doesn't seem like the kind of guy who would wanna be with a girl who looks like... well, me.

so sometimes it's tempting to change especially for him. do what it takes to get him to like me.

he broke my heart a couple months back. he stopped acting like he could've liked me. and ever since, i've been going through in my mind over and over again what might have changed. why he suddenly stopped paying attention to me. was it when i started to change, maybe?

i'll never know. and i'm trying to be okay with the not knowing. i'm trying to tell myself,  
"if he couldn't ever love me for me, then he wasn't the one."

because the one will love me for me. the one will love you for you, and no one else.

he'll love that i'm a complete klutz. he'll love that i sing and dance too much around the house. he'll love the fact that i have big, crazy dreams. he'll believe in them and want them for me. he'll love the way i dress a little extreme. the way nothing ever matches. he'll tell me i'm beautiful without makeup. he'll love my wrecked up story. he'll love Jesus. he'll give me grace. he'll cry with me. he'll laugh with me. he'll accept me.

so i'm waiting. i'm waiting to come across the right one. the one who accepts every part of me. the parts of me that some people never could.

makes me wonder if i've met him yet. and if i haven't, i can't wait until i do.

choosing joy.


Aimeebob said...

Love the new design!

Sierra said...

Beautiful ending, such a beautiful song :) I was listening to it (and mouthing the words) while reading your post. I haven't directly felt like this (no crushes, attraction whatever right now in my life) but I totally get that. I always fear the what if when my guy does show. Constantly in my head I wonder if I'm good enough and if I'll be able to grow enough and become this perfect, cookie-cutter, beautiful, lovely girl he falls in love with immediately. But I just don't see how this becomes that. And your post kinda made a lightbulb go off. That maybe I won't have to change and maybe I won't have to grow into something else that I feel like I can't be. Beautiful post, hang in there!!

Nine said...

He has no idea what he's missing.

Girl, God is in control of the boys who matter to you. They belong in His hands. And He knows what He's doing.


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