Friday, February 22, 2013

my acne story // relinquishing control.

if only i had known back then that this, too, was beautiful.

acne is something i feel very strongly about.

if there is one thing i hate most, it is to see someone made fun of for something they can't help.

i don't believe it is something that should be joked about. i don't think it's funny.

because for a long time, my acne made me feel different from other people. i was never made fun of for it, but i did have people tell me i needed to get it taken care of.

the fact was, however, i was doing everything i could to get it under control.


* * * * *


my acne was something that really hindered my self confidence for a very, very long time. none of my friends had it yet, and so it made me feel like they were prettier than i was because i had these very obvious, red dots all over my face.

i believe that over time, acne will take care of itself. and my acne really didn't bother me until people started pointing it out. and after a while, be singled out like that made me feel like i was different because of it.

i tried to cover it up with all kinds of foundational makeup, but it really didn't do much good. truth is, my acne was incredibly bad. but, it didn't ever make me less beautiful. and i wish, if i could go back in time or do it all over again, i could tell myself not to let it diminish the way i looked at myself.

because that's what it was doing. i was always judging myself about those tiny red dots and so that's when all my security came crumbling down.

until there was absolutely nothing left.


* * *


so between a back brace and the acne, i felt horrible about myself.

the mirror was my worst enemy.

i hated getting ready in the morning, because i felt like no matter how much makeup i caked and plastered onto my face, it didn't make the slightest difference.

now. before i move on to how i got rid of my acne, i want to tell you something i wish i had done before i got help.

i wish i would have known how beautiful i was before i got my acne cleared up.

because once the acne was gone, i got my value from that. and to be honest, i still struggle with that one.

i wish that i would have done some inner work before i had done the outer work. because it only made me more insecure.

so in the end, yes, i got my acne under control. i now take two prescriptions to manage it.

but you know, no medicine in the world is gonna make me more beautiful.


* * *


i recently watched a video by some comedians on youtube that i like. well they recently put out a video making fun of people with acne and calling them "pizza faces".

it literally brought tears to my eyes i was so angry.

i hate to see people put done for their acne. i absolutely hate it.

because i remember that feeling of worthlessness when someone even mentioned it, let alone make fun of it!

so here is my message to those struggling with acne right now,

I LOVE YOU.

and i know how hard it is. i really, really do.

but this to shall pass. it really, really will.

not only will the acne pass, but so to will the insecurity of it. not just when the pimples finally fade away, but when you realize that your beauty doesn't come from your face. that it comes from inside. and when you know that, and can really and truly, wholeheartedly believe it for yourself, that's when it passes.

part of it is also saying to God, 
"i don't need to have control here anymore. i don't know how to handle it."

part of surrendering is giving up your worries and the lies you've been told.

because once you stop believing the lies, you can really only start believing the truth.

and the truth will set you free.

believe me, the truth is still setting me free. and acne is a killer to get over. it haunts us girls.

but it will get better. it really will.

* * *

my acne story is not something i ever tell that many people. because for the longest time, it was something i was ashamed of. but here, even to myself, i am learning to say to God,
"i don't need to have control."

so don't let the acne control you.

it sounds corny, i know. like it could be in a commercial or something. but it's the truth.

it's the truth i want to give you wings, love.


now watch this:


xx. and happy friday, beautifuls. love hannah.

p.s. i was interviewed yesterday by the lovely miss Maya over @ Efflorescence!
you can go check it out right here.

5 comments:

Mollie said...

hi hannah. i just stumbled across your inspiring and lovely blog today, and fell in love with it. your posts bring me to tears, and inspire me to change from the inside out, and not just on the outside.

i am in junior high, so the pimples are just starting to hit...i watch my friends spend literally hundreds of dollars to fix their acne, and i just want to tell them how beautiful they are.

love this post, and love your blog. i will definitely be continuing to read your posts.

much love,
mollie-- from molliesmusingsblog.blogspot.com

Sierra said...

I don't think I get that much acne acne, but I do usually have a bunch of pimples/zits on my face most weeks. *sighs* That's what make-up is for. I have been trying to find something to help get it under control. I really liked this post, it was very encouraging. And I adore that song!!!! And the video :) I posted it last week after I watched it. It's such an amazing song! Sierra
Keep growing beautiful!

the girl called Hannah said...

Mollie,

You have no idea how much your words mean. You inspire me as well! Love ya, darling! <3 Stay strong.

Sierra,
so glad I could be an encouragement to you! If you'd like, I can give you the names of the products I use.

Middle Of Your Heart IS an amazing song! Thought it worked well with "letting go" of control. (:

Sierra said...

I'd appreciate that :) I don't know if I have the same or whatever because I have done no research or anything...I just now it isn't going away :(
It sure does :) It's like every single lyric relates to me somehow. It's gorgeous :D Sierra
Keep growing beautiful!

the girl called Hannah said...

Okay, so I use a cream that I apply every night to my face called Epiduo. This one has helped me the most. I call it the Acne Wizard. Because it seriously is.

I also use doxycycline, which I take twice a day. I feel like the cream zaps any pimples that pop up, and the pill just keeps them away.

I would definitely recommend them both to anyone who has acne trouble! My doctor was worried about scarring because my acne was so bad, but between the cream and the pill, all my scars are gone!

Love them both.

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...