Tuesday, November 13, 2012

Project Feathers 2012 // Maya

I don't believe it's completely possible to understand the depth of God's love unless you feel the hate of the world first. And I grew up feeling it. Everyday of my childhood was filled with pain and not understanding. Divorce, death, mean relationships, and difficult circumstances filled the years I was supposed to live in a world of rainbows and childhood bliss. It was rough and I grew to fear waking up every morning...what would one day more bring? I grew to have a bitter heart. I hated my Dad who left me family when I was young. I hated my Step Father who thought he could ever replace the gap of being fatherless. I hated my sister's boyfriend who treated her and my family like we were trash.

I would grow apart from God in those years. I didn't understand.
When my sister Emily was almost 18 (trust me...there's a point in telling you all this) she went to a retreat and were able to hear the Gospel for the first time and Em was saved. I saw a radical change in her life.. It made me wonder.

I was 13 and Emily kept sharing the Gospel with me. But I didn't listen and continued to live for myself. She made me go to Church one Sunday. Then she made me go to a youth retreat with her. I did because I couldn't help desiring what Em had. One of the nights I suddenly felt a deep burden of guilt I could not describe. I felt a fire and a rushing wind upon my back and I was shaking in fear. For the first time, I was certain there was a God but I knew I was not worthy of Him. The next day I told Emily this and once more she shared the Good News with me. I was overwhelmed and cried. That night I called upon His mighty name to wash my new with the blood.

I couldn't believe He would be kind to me, a sinner. He would die for me, a sinner. For I had broken almost all of God's law. I was a girl of morals growing up and taught that "If I was good, good things came." But the truth was I was to be eternally damned to hell and eternal suffering. I was dead in my sin. I was simply a thing of this world to fade away. I, along with all, deserve hell.
But God, being rich in mercy called me to be a disciple of him. I was naked but he clothed me in righteousness and I now I follow him with all of me.
I finally understood someone loved me for me. He loved me so much he would die for me.

It's been 5 and half years since that day when the Lord called me to be His. And I have been through a lot since but everyday my joy of Christ my Lord been as great. Because He loves me I want to live the rest of my life proclaiming to others this love. Oh, that I, a sinner may cry Hallelujah! What kind of a love is this?
It's been a hard journey, but I know God is faithful..and is leading me home.

1 comment:

Pepper said...

Hearing how each believer came to know God is always inspiring and proves just how amazing and redeeming God is to us. God does miracles and being apart of His plan in an absolute honor.
By the way, I like you about me.
P.S Guy's hugs confuse me too

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