Thursday, May 2, 2013

we all need to know we're not fighting alone.

listening to: prove you wrong by He Is We

via the band, Tenth Avenue North.

a dear friend asked me today, "what got you through the depression?"

i told her, "ultimately, in one word, encouragement. if i had never been encouraged by someone, never been told there was someone by my side that would see me through to the end, i honestly don't think i'd still be here today."

i really, really don't.

to this day, i still need to know people are there. that there are those who will except me, no matter where i've been. because people tend to run in the other direction when they hear the word "depression". and that's okay. that's natural. but sometimes even those i love can go running away, too. which hurts.

i think a theme for me right now has been focusing on the ones that are here, that are around and are going to support me through everything. that won't go running away. that i can trust won't let my hand go.

i've been working on giving the correct definition of friend. and i believe that to be a friend means to build up, not break down. and when i say break down, i mean ignore. i mean try to forget about whatever it is that the person you call your friend is going through, because it's just too uncomfortable to talk about. but part of loving is being there.

lately more and more people are finding out about my story. which is great, and i'm glad. but it can still be a little unsettling, wondering what they're thinking about you, now that they know. know that you almost threw it all away...

but some of them have been going out of their way to hug me and ask me how i'm doing. pat me on the back now and then. and they have no idea how much it really means. because something like that, to me, means "i'm here, and i love you."

1 comment:

Sierra said...

I'm so sorry about what you've gone threw Hannah, I hadn't heard or read your story. And I hate that you had to go through that. I hate that when you told your friends they didn't really listen. I hate that. I hate that no one was there and it just hurt and everything. I'd like to think if I ever met anyone reaching out while everyone else was running away that I'd stay. I hope I would/could...I'd know that I should. And I would want to. I'm so glad that you are happy and doing much much better. I hope that I am able to be someone who stays and loves and is there. I wish there wasn't pain in the world. Thank you for sharing your story, it makes you even stronger and even more of an inspiration to me. When I first came onto your blog I saw you as a strong Christian and a great writer. And now I'm even more "in awe" (please don't take that a bad way, I think you're awesome!) Thank you for this great post too :) ~S

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