Sunday, November 18, 2012

on the 6th of november, 2012.

He takes Ohio. My heart is racing and I am on my knees, face down on the floor. “Jesus,” I say. “Please help us!”

Only minutes later, Obama's name flashes across the screen as he takes another term as President of the United States.

My heart stops. And it sinks. Down, down, down... and it just keeps dropping.

The hope is gone now. And my eyes get blurry and time is standing still.

I sit there, alone in a room, watching the TV as democrats cheer for the re-election of Barack Obama. I start shaking, and then the tears come up and out. I sit there, alone, sobbing. No hope for my country is left anymore. I am done. All the motivation to save it is gone.

Everyone is upstairs, getting ready for bed. I can hardly stand on my own two legs. But I’ve gotta tell them. Mascara running down my cheeks, I tell my mom, “He won. He won Ohio and then he won the election.” She hugs me and holds me tightly, and says it's not worth my tears. Together, we go back downstairs and sees his name plastered everywhere across the screen.

Fear begins to creep in. I tell myself that this is the world that I will have to raise my children in. This is the world that my children will have to face on their own someday. I'm angry at the people who chose this kind of life. I'm angry at the people who didn't do anything at all to try and stop it. Instead of voting, they just waited around to see what would happen because they didn't “have an opinion”.

I stay up till one o'clock in the morning. When I finally go to bed, I can't fall asleep. I am so scared for what the next four years will bring. My face is burning and my eyes are swollen. Truth is, this election, it is worth my tears. I have been holding on to the last shred of hope, which I believe was Mitt Romney. I knew that if he were to win the presidency, things would begin to change for the better. But once he lost, I felt like I had lost, too.

He would have made a great leader, I know.

These days afterwards, I am trying to give myself some hope again. I am trying to trust Obama with my country. I am trying to tell myself that Jesus is King, above all else, and above all men. And ultimately, He can do whatever He wants with America. I am trying to forgive the people who make all these wrong choices. I am learning to pray more for my nation.

And maybe that’s the reason why Jesus has got Obama where he is today. Maybe He wants us, as a nation, to start praying again. Because truth is, things are going to get worse. I know that. It is just going to happen. But I know that if I hold His hand through whatever happens here in America, I will be okay. And so will you.

1 comment:

Kristin said...

I know exactly how you feel. I had the same sinking feeling when I heard the news. It helps me to remember that, cliche as it sounds, every single little thing that happens, including Obama being re-elected, is part of God's plan. Keep praying!
Kristin @ Serendipity

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