Saturday, January 19, 2013

five months later. i have learned how to attain the hope that i so desired.

( more pictures to come :)

last night, dear friends and i pulled into the parking lot of where our two favorite Aussies were going to be performing at seven o clock.

last night, we jumped out of the car, rocker boots and homemade fangirl tshirts, and headed through the front doors. i was already dancing out of pure and utter joy.

last night, we went straight to the merch table and bought all sorts of goodies.

last night, we giggled and squealed over the littlest, stupidest things.

last night, we headed into the sanctuary and got front row seats.

last night, we sat in those seats and waited for the show to begin as people poured in through the doors.

last night, my dear friend grace and i sat there and talked about our dreams of becoming like luke and joel. up there, on the stage, with mics in hand. doing what we love most.

and that is singing.

last night, when all of our group had arrived, we started out by jamming along with the Mikey Needleman band. and...  
they played Move Along by The All-American Rejects.

with tears streaming down my face, i sang and danced to the song that has got me through so much.

last night, there was a great speaker. she talked about the mistakes she's made, and how in the end, God got her out of that pit.

story of my life.

last night, there was intermission.

at that point, i spotted FK&C's guitarist, Mark. lovely guy. just simply awesome.  
and, we girls may or may not have fangirl crushes on the guy...

he was all like getting the set ready like a boss, and i knew that this may be my only chance to get his autograph. so the bravest thing i have ever done happened then.

i went up to him, and asked him for it.

he told me they were getting ready to start the show, but that he would definitely sign it afterwards.

we said that was cool.

last night, our boys came out on stage.

last night, we were the first people to run up to the front of the stage and clap our hands till they went numb and cheer until we lost our voices as our boys came running out in front of us.

they smiled at us, they waved to us, they pointed out to us. they laughed when we knew all their songs, including the guitar solos. joel even came down with mark and brushed up against us.

now ladies, the jeans that Joel brushed up against are now officially called, "the JJs".
which stands for the "Joel Jeans". yes, yes you heard me right.

then they sang Crave.

the song Crave has impacted my life in more ways than Joel and Luke can ever imagine. when they started singing it, everything that has happened to me in the last three years came rushing back to the front of my mind. how God had got me through it all. how i'd been hurt, scarred, beaten down, crushed, trampled under, how i had screwed up, how i'd thought i was too far gone to be saved.

but in the end, hope is what we crave, darlings. always. and that will never change.

singing and sobbing, it all came back. all the long held back tears over my dad's getting sick, it all came back again. grace's hand on my shoulder, dana's hand in mine. we cried together. again.

that song got me through so much.

i knew i would cry if it was added to last night's set.

and it was.

i believe Jesus meant it all to be.

* * * * *

so last night, the show was finished.

last night, my ladies and i rushed frantically out the sanctuary doors to meet and greet.

and greet them we did. ( you see, we have already met them before so... yeah ;)

we get up there.

smiling, beaming.

i ask them if they could please sign my guitar strap.

luke says "of course!" with his accent and all. accent AND ALL
don't be jealous, girls.

joel sees our t shirts, again.

he is amazed by the fact that we have managed (again) to cram all of the lyrics onto sleeves, hems, etc.

he fists bumps us. note that his fist is like BOTH of my fists side by side.
whoowhee. i nearly fainted on the spot.

then it's just me and grace standing there in front of them.

i somehow (Lord helping me) get the strength up to tell them,

"you guys have really inspired me and my friend grace to..."

grace finishes the sentence for me, "... start a band".

they both sit there and just smile for a moment.

joel looks me in the eyes.

and says, "thank you."

the strap gets to him and he signs it.

he says, "do you play?"

i shyly grin and nod my head.

he tells me to keep on doing it.

we walk away, life changed, again.


i can't emphasize that word enough.

you see, when i walked away from our last concert with them, my eyes were opened to a kind of God i had never known before.

a loving God.

a really forgiving God.

i was told i was priceless and worth waiting for.

i felt loved.
truly and sincerely loved.

and when joel had hugged us, five months ago-

five months ago.


it seems like just yesterday he had spotted us among that dense crowd and singled us out. he had run up to us, hugged us, and grinned his lovely grin at our homemade tshirts.

it seems like yesterday, but yet, i have changed so much since then.

perhaps that's why the tears came like they did. not the fangirl kind, the kind that comes from healing.

true healing.

because so much of it has taken place in five months.

but last night,

last night was five months ago, september 26th, 2012, all over again.

feeling so blessed today. feeling so full. 
so pumped up on Jesus and music and extremely attractive australian dudes.

feeling like there are people out there who share my dreams. who do what i want to do everyday.

feeling encouraged by them.

like they support me in it all.

like i can actually do it now.

and i know the road may will be tough, because it's a hard industry to get into.

but i want it.

and i think i can do it.

and i feel a clear, strong pull from God in that direction.

and today, right now, that's all that matters.

* * * * *

last night, last night was good.

last night was great.

last night, i cried.

i laughed.

i sang.

i dreamed.

i was given hope, once again.

and especially, hope in all that i want to see happen for myself.

because i know that Jesus has got big plans for me.

it's just about me opening up my eyes to see that, and then letting Him have His complete way.

and surprisingly, for the first time in my life, i am happy with that.

i want what He wants for me.

and since i have been able to go with His flow, life is happier. 
and more and more doors just keep getting opened.

so i am praising Jesus today. praising Him for yet another amazing experience with Joel and Luke. praising Him for Joel and Luke, themselves! praising Him for my girls that i spent that time with. praising Him for giving me this message in a new way today:


thank you Jesus, 
thank you Joel, and thank you Luke. 
you two boys are world-changers.
and i want to follow in your foot steps.
letting my life be the proof of HIS love all the while. 

choosing joy,

p.s. funny story: 
so... you know how mark the guitarist promised to give me his autograph after the show? 
well, he didn't even show up to meet and greet!
SO, dana and i are officially calling him,
"The One That Got Away".

my merch finds:


Neeley said...

Oh, this sounds awesome! SO happy you had a wonderful night :) It seems it held up to everything you dreamed!

Molly Marie said...

Awww, Congrats Hannah! :D I am so glad you had an amazing night. You definitely deserved one :)


Brooke said...

I am SOOO glad you had such a wonderful time!! Can't wait to see pictures :)

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