the word "too".

too.

too, what?

too heavy.

too skinny.

too tall.

too short.

i've heard the word used way to many times. i've heard it be abused. flung around. like whatever. and it doesn't seem to matter all that much.

i've been called too short. and a few times in my life, people have joked around, thinking it would be funny to call me fat.

and it kills me inside.

deep down, i know it's not true, and that i only need to believe what Jesus says about me, but that doesn't mean it goes in one ear and out the other. it's never been that easy.

days after people would tell me i wasn't- well, perfect, i would spend them all obsessing over getting a diet together. i would look at myself in the mirror, from the side, and try to imagine myself 10 pounds lighter. and i still do sometimes. usually it's when a lie gets whispered.

truth is, i don't know why they ever did say those things.

truth is, none of it ever matters.

because i know that Jesus sees me as beautiful. and perfect.
perfect even in the ways they never saw me.

* * * * * * *

i wish society would stop taking a hold of girls heads. i wish society would stop deceiving us with the idea that you have to be all curvy, and thin. i wish i could change a lot about society, but i can't.

i can only keep giving you the truth. and the truth will set you free. it is setting me free every day.

i know you hear it all the time.

and i know how hard it is to have the world telling you one thing and your family and friends telling you something else. something completely different. and you get angry, because you think they only say it to make you feel good. make you feel better about yourself. and it can be so tempting to go with what the world says. they make it all seem so appealing.

but truth is, Prince Charming is going to love you as you are, take you as you are. he isn't going to notice how your hips don't curve in the way you would like them to. he isn't going to notice how you're nearly as tall as him. he isn't going to notice how he has to bend way down to kiss you. he's gonna see you as Jesus has always seen you. flawless.

choosing joy,
hannah