our teacher wanted us to run through our dance at least one more time that day. then i could finally run out into the hallway to check the sheet, that white piece of paper that could tell me if i would be moving up into the advanced classes in the fall or not. my stomach was full of butterflies and my hands were sweaty and shaking. i didn't want to repeat this level, not again. and i had been trying my very hardest lately. if i could just make it, i would never be able to advance from there. this was my dream.
but i have known many girls who were the best in their class and they didn't make it until they were much older than fourteen. so i was scared. i was really, really scared. i didn't want to be disappointed, but i didn't want to get my hopes up.
* * * * * * *
miss rachael said we could be done for the day. i curtsied and then ran as fast as i could out of the classroom, and to the cork bulletin board. the white sheet was there, with small black text listing out every girl and which classes she would be in. i found my name.
listed under the advanced classes.
my heart lifted. in that moment i was so happy i could hardly breathe! and i started to cry. and yeah i'm sure people who walked by me thought i was some crazy girl running off hormones. but it was a moment of sheer joy for me. the happiest i've been in a while.
my best friend's name was listed right next to mind and so i called her up to tell her the news. we freaked out and teared up over the phone together. we were so happy.
it all brought me back to last fall, when she and i had both been hoping to move up and in the end we hadn't. both disappointed, both angry, we thought of quitting, even. a few weeks later, our teacher told us she had made a mistake in placing us where she had and so she proceeded to move us up a level. we freaked out and teared up and we were so happy. and here we are today, just as happy as we were back then.
today i am praising God for everything he has done for me. i thank Him for giving me the strength to push my hardest over the last year and for teaching me to have a humble heart even when things didn't turn out the way i wanted them to. in the end he worked everything out for good. and He still is.
with hugs and kisses,