Saturday, November 17, 2012

Project Feathers 2012 // Neeley

I grew up in a Christian home with strong Christians for parents. Prior to my conversion, I had mixed feelings about God. I refused to obey God's words and often had anger towards Him. Yet I had a strange longing towards the Gospel.  I doubted my assurance and, often, I doubted if God existed. 

 In the past I had asked God to save me, yet I refused to believe he had. Even though I felt hopeless and weak, I still had hope in God. 

Around two years back I went to a youth retreat that would change my life forever. The theme of the retreat was "Whose Glory." And it challenged us to think of whose glory we lived for.

Whose glory did I live for? Mine.

The afternoon before the last night I found myself shaken and not wanting to be around anyone. Something wasn't right. I talked to my Mom about it a little before, but I felt wrong. I so understood at the beginning of the last session. Tears spilled down my face. I knew God was asking me to come to him. In the past, I didn't want to. But now I realized I was attached to chains that held me down hard.

And I wanted to be set free in the name of the Gospel.

I prayed that night. Really prayed for the first time in my life. Not just talking, but pleading with all of me God would save my soul. That's when our youth pastor came to the front and read the verse in Romans: anyone who calls upon the name of the Lord will be saved. They asked anyone who needed prayer to come to the front for prayer. I did. The pastor up there prayed for me. Two of my good friends came and prayed with me also. And I called upon His name. I felt shaken. I felt free. I felt raw. I felt new. 

From that day, I've been learning the life of a daughter of Christ isn't easy. It isn't clear. It's confusing. It's hard. But it's so sweet. I've learned the gospel isn't about being perfect, it's about His perfect blood washing our past and future sin clean. The point of the cross is we are ruined and we'll still sin. But there is hope through Jesus Christ!

And it keeps getting better.

Every day God teaches me more, draws me in deeper. I want to be a missionary for the rest of my life, proclaiming this wonderful news to all people. Jesus Christ came to save sinners like me. Sinners like you.
Stand Firm!

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