when losing.

i can't believe what she said.

i can't believe what she did.

doesn't she know it's wrong? doesn't she know it's killing me?

maybe there's something i missed. but how could she treat me like this?

it's wearing out my heart. the way she disregards.

but i have a choice to make.

i could love her. or i could shut her out and hate her for it. and never forgive her. build up walls. or, i could give her the grace that i've been given.

as much as it hurts, and as much as i feel like the one  l o s i n g ,
hate isn't going to change my heart.

people are imperfect. people are gonna hurt you. it will always happen.
but when we hate, the damage really only effects us. it makes us resentful. and hard.
and eventually, we are just all broken up.

it sometimes doesn't feel right to turn a blind eye, but i guess it's not really that much when i think of what He's done...

these things take time. for me, i've never forgiven someone over night. never. maybe someday i will get there, but these things just take time. but that time can be spent with Jesus, as He stitches up your busted heart so that you can become stronger and be able face people when they hurt you with a new heart abounding in forgiveness.